Depression - As experienced by a "Tired" Lady

A very special Lady, shared her experience on how she experience depression...May the writing and sharing of her Life story touch other people's lifes, in similar situations, and start a healing Journey for her...

may she find her old-self and her laughter again.

Some days like today.... I just want to hide from the world.. Stay in my own space and just be.... My soul feels weak and my heart is broken... Bottomless pit of depression... I hate myself for allowing myself for jumping into this black hole of darkness... Wishing like so many people that don't know depression to just... Snap out of it....

If it was so easy, do you really think I would put myself through this? If the cure for depression was so easy like snapping my fingers... It is a journey of ups and downs.... Most of the time an uphill battle just to get through the day...

All I want to do is just feel better... Live a normal life where I am in control of what I feel and what I think... I want to laugh until my tummy hurts again... I miss my old me...

The new me is dark most of the time... Sad but true I wear a mask that hides my depression... That gives the outside world a fake impression of what I am really feeling and going through...

Wake up and smell the coffee.... Be humble... Be kind to yourself... Love yourself... Find inner peace.... All these nice word mean nothing, if you are spiraling into feelings of worthlessness...

Please stop giving advice... It does not help... If you walked in my shoes then maybe ... only maybe I will listen.... I want to be better... I don't want to be sick anymore...

No,depression is not craziness it is a sickness...

But most of you will never see it, as I am wearing my scars on the inside...

But through grace... And that is all I have left... I will survive my journey... As it was given to me to walk trough... I will rise again.... With that hope...

I will carry my burden and believe that some day I will find my old self again.

Ellenore